About Chelvis

On a cold and grey Chicago morn’ a poor little Chinese child was born, in the ghetto. He tried to roam the streets at night and his parents, being socially responsible, kept him inside, where he was forced to study hard. Once he had achieved the academic success white people could only dream of, ChineseElvis decided to turn his back on the well worn Chinese career path of becoming a doctor or dentist or architect or lawyer and did the thing that came naturally and sexily to him. He became The King from Beijing. The rest is history…

ChineseElvis was born in the Chinese year of the goat, which is this very year, making him either 48 or 36 (or 60). His jumpsuits are hand sewn by Chinese children working 14 hour shifts, which teaches them the value of hard work. His sideburns are hand sewn by a Jamaican guy called Keith. ChineseElvis knows the words to 800 Elvis songs. 750 of these he knows, sadly, only in Chinese. Even more sadly, it is his own dialect, which no one else can understand.

Winner, 2007, BBC The Weakest Link Elvis special. Winner, 2000, Battle of The Kings contest. Winner, 2004, Shoreditch Festival Funniest in Parade, Runner-up, 2009 Most Chinese Elvis award (2nd to Paul “Elvis” Chan), Blackpool. Awarded Honorary Red Belt from UK Judo Centre.