Seth and Pearl

I became an uncle yesterday to Seth and Pearl.  Lovely twins.  Born in Blackburn, Lancashire, they are the offspring of my other half’s brother and his partner.  Both were 4 lbs and a bit and are today in an incubator, doing well.

It is nice to be an uncle, because you get to do the nice part (playing and having fun) without the shitty part (staying awake and going crazy).

When I think of my own uncles, I have a few on my Dad’s side.  One in particular, Keith (a typical Chinese name, I know), is a big karaoke fan and like a lot of Chinese in Canada, goes out until the early hours to croon his favourites. Which may explain why I became an Elvis.  Its in the blood..!

Keith is here, front row, left, next to his sister, (my auntie) Sandie, with my dad, front row right.

an ethnic mix in two generations
Yes they are all related to me!

Behind my dad is his brother (half brother, but still my uncle) Henry, back row middle is my cousin, Stephen (son of Sandy (and my uncle Ormond, Guyanese via Asian subcontinent not pictured)) and the lady in pink is someone I met once (who is also related somehow) but can’t remember.  They all look the same to me.

If you are thinking that is a healthily mixed ethnic looking, mostly Chinese family, you would not be wrong.   Lots of Caribbean families look like this and my dad and his family grew up in Guyana .   A long way from mainland China, which kind of explains why I don’t speak Chinese and am different to the majority of the Chinese in the UK.  They don’t have a black uncle!  And they don’t know about cricket.

Which brings me back to Seth and Pearl, in the north of England.   Blackburn is known as a racial hotbed in England, rightly or wrongly (ahem, rightly).  My mate, Richard, lives and works there, buying and managing properties.  He is the only black man within a 12 mile radius.

It is funny to think that my one day old, very English and white northern niece and nephew have a Chinese Elvis for an uncle, a black great uncle and an Indian 2nd uncle.  Welcome to the world!


Facebook & Twitter

What better place to start an angry middle aged rant than the two things I don’t really understand?

I literally have no idea what Twitter is all about. I managed to get the username ChineseElvis but I have never used it knowingly. And by that I mean when I have used it, I have no idea what the hell is going on. It also means that I have also willfully avoided using it. I resent my inability to use it.

Facebook is quite useful for organising school reunions, I have found.

Under peer pressure, I started a page for ChineseElvis, but it is rather pathetic, I will admit. I don’t know what to say there because I dont like or understand people that use the site.

The last post there has a good gag, which to save you having to click, I repeat here:

This lady was doing her act at a gig I was headlining and allowed me to take a picture of her:

2013-07-25 21.29.04

“If you look long enough, eventually you can see a snake.”

Apart from this schoolboy gag, the rest of the page is, as you can see, mostly a waste of pixels and time, which is frankly what I find Facebook to be full stop. I have turned off the alerts for so many of my “friend’s” posts that I have literally no idea what they are all on about when they email me to ask why I am not engaging in some protest they are all against. Or for. All these people assume that I follow the feed as frantically as they do and this assumption only makes me want to avoid Facebook (and them) all the more.

Yet I am too chicken to delete my account. I am like a kid who hates being at a party, but doesn’t dare leave in case anybody has a good time without him.